1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've blown a few things in my day
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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