i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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