I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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