WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
