if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize