meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
