i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
