Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
