Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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