i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
