508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
