could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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