So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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