Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
