Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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