Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
