i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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