So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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