If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
