Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
