i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
