I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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