maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
