"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
