Plan B is the new Plan A
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's official drugs can't kill me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
