yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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