just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
