What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
