mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
