You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I love having hate sex.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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