It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
