her vagine was all disorganized.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
