hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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