16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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