So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
