i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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