hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
