so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
