Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
