he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
