ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
