My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
