8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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