I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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