That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
