i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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