He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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