I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
