He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
