i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
