physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is wine microwaveable?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
