I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So squirting runs in the family.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
