belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize
